Wedding X Crashers
by Artistically Insightful
Summary: Gon is excited about Kurapika and Leorio's wedding. Killua, on the other hand, is angsty and hate filled. Gon worked hard to make this wedding turn out beautifully and Killua wants nothing but to crash it. Hisoka has no filter and Illumi has mentally checked out years ago. In short, everyone is engaged or will be soon, and this fic is a total travesty as a result tbh.


Gon's alarm clock goes off and he sits up in bed excitedly and screams,''Today is the day!'' His scream nearly makes the walls rattle.

A grumpy Killua kicks the door in,''What in the hell are you in here screaming about at 7 o' clock in the fucking morning!?''

''I'm sorry Killua! I got excited!'' Gon replied.

''About what?'' Killua asks.

Gon looked at him as if he had grown another head.

''Why are you looking at me like that?''

''You seriously forgot? Seriously?'' Gon huffed crossing his arms.

Killua shrugs and rolls his eyes.

''It is Kurapika and Leorio's wedding day!'' Gon shouted.

Killua went ridgid and his face was stone cold. Gon blinked a few times just watching his friend stare off into space. The air had grown cold and Gon felt frozen by the intensity of Killua's stare,''Um...you okay buddy?''

''I'm not going.''Killua mumbled. ''WHAT!? Everyone will be there! Hel,l even Hisoka and his boyfriend are coming!''

''Don't call my brother his boyfriend! They are just friends! FRIENDS!'' Killua scolded.

''But I caught them having sex on the floor that one time.''

''YEAH YEAH YEAH! And I told you it was just a dream.'' Killua said dismissing him.

Gon growled and picked up his phone,''The least you can do is to tell our BEST FRIENDS that you are bailing on this the DAY OF! Even when Leorio made you his BEST MAN!''

Killua growled and kicked at the wall,''Fine! Fine! Shut up! Why are you so excited to go to this stupid wedding anyway!? You trying to live vicariously through them or something?''

Gon gasped as if struck before replying,''I have no idea what you're talking about!''

''You literally act as if it is you that is getting married Gon!'' Killua growled.

''Whatever you say I need a shower. Plus I have to leave soon to pick up the flowers and the cake-''

''The cake and flowers that you picked out for them!?''

''So!? I was just being a good friend!''

''You were just hijacking their wedding! Did you plan the honeymoon too?''

''I think lilies were a good choice but roses might have been better...Nah lilies o better with Kurapika's hair.-''

''Do you even hear yourself!?''

''I am being a good friend Killua!''

''You are just living through them Gon!'' Killua yelled back.

''You are being silly.'' Gon hissed waving him away.

Killua growled and stomped the ground.

''What is your problem today Killua!?''

''I don't have a problem!''

''Then what is all of this!?''

''Weddings are stupid and pointless! Why couldn't they just sign a paper instead of making a big deal about it and flaunting it in everyone's faces!?''

''Because they are happy! And they want to share this precious moment with us Killua! They mean no harm to us! I don't know why you think they're sharing this with us out of malice!'' Gon argued.

''I still think it's a waste of my time!''

''Look, I have been wanting the two of them to get married since day one! I think they make a wonderful couple and want them to live a life of happiness...''

''What about you though?'' Killua asks.

''What are you getting at? What about me? I am happily single and I am focused on my job as a hunter...that's all I need...'' Gon said with a shrug.

''If that was all you needed you wouldn't constantly hijack their relationship!''

''You are not making sense!'' Gon denied.

''You've planned most of their dates! You take Kurapika shopping for the dates you planned for them! You give advice on their relationship and stick your nose in it so much that you know everything that goes on in their house! Do you not think that you're being creepy!?''

''I am being a GOOD FRIEND!'' Gon answered with emphasis.

''A good friend would keep his nose out of the other's sex life and mind his own business.''

''Well what about you? You do the OPPOSITE! Ever since they have gotten together you have talked down on them! You point out every flaw in the relationship and constantly spout negativity!''

''Because relationships are pointless!'' Killua said with a shrug.

''That's just your opinion!'' Gon huffed flipping his hair over his shoulder. His hair now reached just above his butt. He stopped spiking it and just let it flow. He was only in his underwear. He stretched and put his hair in a ponytail. He realized that Killua was still there, a light blush gracing his cheeks.

''What!?'' Gon exclaims,''Leave! I have to take a shower!''

Killua growled and stomped his foot,''I'm not done arguing about this!''

''Well I am! I have to get dressed and pick up the cake, unlock the door for the caterers, and do Kurapika's hair.''

Killua looked livid. Gon rolled his eyes and said,''Please...even though I know that you hate weddings and relationships, just please attend?''

''Do you want to get married?'' Killua asked.

''What!?'' Gon exclaimed looking pale and terrified.

''Not to me idiot.'' Killua with an eye-roll, his shoulders slumping in what looked like disappointment.

''Yeah. Yeah, I do. But until I find the girl for me. I will stay single and focus on work.'' Gon answered.

Killua's shoulders tense at Gon mentioning wanting a girl. Gon doesn't notice and starts focusing on getting ready.

An hour had passed and now Gon was focusing closely on flat ironing and bumping Killua's hair. He sighed and said,''Kirapika, your hair is like silk. You are so beautiful.''

Kurapika growled,''Handsome is the correct word!''

''Pretty.'' Gon said ignoring him.

Kurapika folded his arms and let it be. Killua slammed open the door,''What's up bitches?''

Gon growled,''Have you been drinking!? It is 9 o clock in the morning and you walk in here tipsy!? You look a mess and smell like death!''

Kurapika places a hand on Gon's hand to calm him down.

Killua chuckles,''It's not my fuckin wedding so who cares am I right?''

''Don't drink another thing Killua or-

''Or what? I know you wouldn't dare do anything to ruin your perfect day...oops, I mean Kirapika's day.''

''What are you yammering on about?'' Kurapika hissed.

''Good old Gon here is living through you today. Notice how he is always taking charge of everything?''

''That's called being a good friend.'' Kurapika deadpanned.

''That's exactly what I said!'' Gon exclaimed.

''Screw you guys.'' Killua mumbled,''Imma look for more booze.''

Gon let out a frustrated sigh and stomped

Kurapika sighed,''don't let him get to you...He's probably dealing with some things! You know his brother will be here and he's probably not too happy about that...''

''Yea...he's just been an ass since this morning.'' Gon sighs.

''Just ignore him...I think he and Illumi had a fight recently...They're still not talking.''

''How do you know Kurapika?'' Gon asks cocking an eyebrow.

''Leorio had to patch both of them up after the fight...Killua told me not to tell you but...'' Kirapika shrugs. Gon makes a sound of disapproval before adding more curls to Kurapika's hair.

Surprisingly, the wedding ceremony went by smoothly. When It was time for Kurapika and Leorio to kiss, Gon and Hisoka cat called them. Kurapika's cheeks were a flame and he quickly pecked his husband on the lips and looked away from everyone else.

Gon laughs and moves to escort everyone to the after party room.

It was gorgeous. A wonderful sight to behold. The room was an elegant mixture of Kurapika and Leorio's cultures. The ceiling was lined with crystal chandeliers that were reflected off of a golden dance floor. The guest tables were organized elegantly with name tags to assign seats. Kurapika and Leorio's seats were draped in the finest silk. Hopefully, Gon's seat choices will prevent too much fighting.

Hisoka rested his hand on Illumi's hip and Illumi responded with a quick kiss on his forehead. The moment was broken by Killua nudging him hard while walking past them. His arms were behind his head, his eyes closed. He looked so at peace even though he just ran his brother and his lover clean over.

Hisoka growled and hissed,''If he does one more thing I swear-''

Illumi rolled his eyes shut Hisoka up with a pat on the head.

Hisoka got quiet and crossed his arms. Illumi patted his head praisingly,''Good boy...''

Gon blinked at the exchange not believing his eyes. His cheeks flushed red with embarrassment when the couple turned and looked at him. He had been caught eavesdropping and he just wanted to disappear. Were Hisoka and Illumi into pet play or something of the like? Gon really did not want to give that much thought. Hisoka had on a shit eating grin and Illumi looked just as guarded and unphased as ever. Gon awkwardly cleared his throat and walked away to watch Leorio and Kurapika cut the cake.

Even though it was adorable watching the two of them flirt and feed each other, Gon felt something curling and swirling in his chest. Something dark and heavy. Something that he could not put a name to. He couldn't put a name to it even if he tried. It made him sick. The cake looked more and more unappealing as seconds past by. The two kissed lovingly and Gon forced a grin and closed his eyes so that he wouldn't have to see it any longer.

His attention was taken by Killua yelling for them to get a room. Gon chuckled and looked over at his friend, who looked how he felt. Killua was not a happy camper today.

Eventually, everyone took their seats with the cake being passed out to tables and food as well. Gon took his seat next to Killua and to his dismay, Illumi and Hisoka completely ignored the assigned seating and threw the signs on the ground behind them.

''Hello brother...''Illumi greeted his voice flat.

Gon sighed,''Your table is over here.''

''We don't care, darling, we wanted to sit with our family...'' Hisoka said smiling.

''Family!? I'll be damned! You are full of shit.'' Killua screamed.

Hisoka chuckled before flashing a huge rock on his ring finger. It sparkled under the lights of the room. Killua's eyes went cold and moved to flip the table but Gon stopped him and hissed,''Don't you dare Killua!''

''You know what!? FUCK YOU GON!'' Killua screamed in his face and pushed him backward.

The room went silent as they watched the fight break out.

Gon looked completely flabbergasted as Killua growled in his face, he was 5 inches taller than Gon and yet he tried to tower over the other man failing miserably.

''Wanna square up!? We can take this outside!'' Killua growled.

''What did I do!?'' Gon exclaimed

Kurapika stomped over,''Gon! Killua! My dressing room! Now!''

Kurapika was so angry that he couldn't even form coherent sentences.

In the room, Kurapika took a breath before asking,''What is the meaning of this nonsense!''

''I don't know...'' Gon sighs looking at Killua.

Killua sighed,''I don't even know man...I told you I didn't want to go to this shit!''

'' _This shit_ is my fucking wedding day!'' Kurapika exclaimed Gon blanched at the fact that it was Kurapika swearing,''I view you as family Killua! Leorio would have been so distraught if you didn't participate! What is the matter?''

''Nothing!''

Gon said,''The fight started when Hisoka revealed that he and Illumi are engaged.''

Kurapika blinks and then says,''Oh...So it's another wedding that set you off...''

''Weddings are a waste of time! Just sign the paper! Why flaunt such a stupid and meaningless ceremony?''

Kurapika looks as if he is pondering things.

Gon is confused and doesn't know how to figure out his friend.

''So...your trigger is marriage huh? Just marriage as a whole...Do you wish to get married by any chance Killua?''

Killua scoffed,''This is stupid.'' He walked to the door but Kurapika blocked his path,''Answer me...Do you wish to be married?''

''No! Marriage is stupid!'' Killua screams.

''Why do you feel this way?'' Kirapika asks.

''I don't have a reason...it's just pointless and wastes too much money...'' Killua murmurs.

''Hmmm...''Kurapika looked Killua up and down before grabbing Gon's hand and leading him out to the party. He has Gon sit next to a woman from his village. She was gorgeous. Ocean blue eyes, long blond hair, and a curvy frame. Gon blushes as he sits next to her.

They eat awkwardly in silence before introducing themselves. Gon ponders why Kurapika sat him elsewhere. He looks around to see everyone sneaking glances at him and whispering about him behind their hands. He notices Hisoka and Illumi looking at him. Hisoka mouths,''Meet me when the speeches are over!''

Gon's stomach felt like lead. He wasn't so keen on meeting Hisoka anywhere. Especially if he was able to get Killua so riled up.

The girl next to him was named Cassandra she said softly,''You seem lost in thought...is it about your friend's outburst?''

''Um...yeah. I am worried about his well being. He has been acting strangely for a month now...''

''You truly are a good friend...he'll come around...just continue to support him...'' Cassandra said with a smile.

As soon as she placed her hand on his shoulder, Gon felt a chill go down his spine. He looked behind him to see Killua's eyes boring into his very soul. He looked absolutely feral.

Illumi was saying something to him and Hisoka was nodding in agreement. Whatever they were saying was pissing him off even more it seemed.

Gon was hoping that this wedding would be wonderful but it's turning out to be a nightmare, for him at least.

Gon's attention was taken when a light shone upon him and everyone cheered for his speech. Gon grinned and got up to raise his glass.

''Hello everyone, I wanted to say a long-winded cheesy speech that was full of love for these amazing people but I am at a loss. I never thought that I'd get to see my best friends finally tie the knot. I remember the day they first met each other. I had never seen a more intense brawl. I thought Kurapika would lift Leorio up and chuck him off the boat. I would never have imagined that we would have such intense friendships. I remember when the both of them first started to fall in love. It was obvious to me. The Kurapika of the past would have thought I had lost my mind if I had told him that I felt that Leorio was his soul mate. My heart is bursting with love for you two and I hope that you have a wonderful rest of your lives together...'' Gon said getting a little teary-eyed.

Kurapika smiles approvingly and nods. Leorio was beaming with a few tears escaping. Everyone laughed at Leorio trying to hide how much the speech affected him. Everyone toasted to it and Gon sat down.

It was now Killua's turn. Killua stood up and held up his glass and said,''I...I don't know what to say...I am not good with feelings such as this...Um...I wish you two the best...It feels like yesterday that we all met each other and I guess I wanted things to stay that way forever...I see that things can't stay the same forever. So I wish you two the best.''

He bowed and sat down. Before anyone could clap Hisoka was up with his drink. Kurapika facepalmed and took a few deep breaths. Leorio rubbed his back soothingly and counted to ten.

Hisoka said,''I have watched all of you grow over the years and you never fail to amaze me. I see such potential in you two. I knew from the very moment I ran in on you kissing on the ship-

''Hey!'' Kurapika shouted enraged. The room erupted in fits of laughter.

Hisoka snickered looking mighty pleased with himself before continuing,''I knew from that moment on that you two would be inseparable. I have watched you, Leorio, Gon, and Killua fight by each other sides since day one and never once have you fallen apart. There is a rare love that the two of you share. I wish you love the very best. Cheers.'' Hisoka said poking out his tongue with a wink.

Gon couldn't help but think of how handsome Hisoka looked with his hair free of gel. His hair framed his face perfectly. He truly was a sight to behold. He gasped when Hisoka caught him staring and winked and him, licking his lips slowly.

Gon's back stiffened and he turned away from the other quickly.

''What's the matter Gon?'' Cassandra asked.

Gon had almost forgotten about her. The two of them talked until it was time to watch Leorio and Kurapika have their first dance. It was formal and elegant. Gon looked on in awe at how beautiful Kurapika was. He was absolutely stunning. The dark twisting feeling was back and it was bubbling and boiling over as Kurapika grinned into Leorio's shoulder looking fulfilled and at ease. Gon's fist clenched as he saw Leorio's hold Kurapika in a protective and loving embrace as they twirled in the middle of the dance floor.

Tears stung Gon's eyes and he couldn't figure out why. He had to bat his lashes rapidly to combat the sudden rush of tears. The batting of lashes did nothing to stop the onslaught of emotions. He had to hold it together. He wiped his tears away and smiled through the pain he was feeling.

He was taken off guard by Illumi offering him tissues.

Gon took them and wiped his eyes, feeling embarrassed for being so emotional. Hisoka wrapped his arms around Gon's waist and buried his face in Gon's neck,''Weddings are moving aren't they...'' Hisoka stopped to take a deep inhale of Gon's scent,''Oooh your shampoo smells delicious Gon...''

Illumi rolled his eyes and said,''My apologies.''

''No, I'm used to it by now.'' Gon said without any fear.

Hisoka nuzzled his neck and said,''Illumi...would you fancy a threesome?''

''No I would not,'' Illumi answered flatly.

''Aww, you aren't any fun...'' Hisoka complained and hugged Gon tighter.

Gon yelped when he felt Hisoka's hardness poking his ass,''That's enough Hisoka!'' Gon yelled batting him off.

Illumi raised his eyes in amusement,''Hmmm...However, I don't think I could object to watching the two of you...participate in coitus...''

''Ewww! Why do you say it like that! Ugh!'' Hisoka growled in disgust,''You are so lucky that you are absolutely gorgeous and we know each other very well.''

They were cut off by the DJ announcing that it was time for everyone to start joining the newlyweds on the dance floor. Hisoka grabs Illumi's hand and guides him to the dance floor.

Gon doesn't know who to reach out to. He nervously closes in on himself. As the crowd shifts, he gets a glimpse of Killua sitting down at the tables opposite of him. He looked irritated and ready to leave as he drunk liquor straight from the bottle. Gon was about to approach him when his hand was taken by Cassandra. She moved to the music a little bit and smiled a big an innocent smile at him that made him feel weak in the knees. She truly was gorgeous. Gon felt himself blush as she pulled him closer to her. The two of them waltzed around the dance floor cheerfully. Gon let himself get lost in the dance so much that he did not notice Killua creeping up on him.

He gasps when Killua pulls him away from Cassandra and pushes her away. Cassandra screams as she tries to catch her balance.

''Killua!'' Gon exclaimed,''I've had about enough of you!''

Gon pushes Killua roughly and moves to punch him. Killua counters the punch and grapples him. Gon wiggles out of the grapple only for Killua to hold on to him tightly. His side aching from Killua digging his claws into them.

Against his better judgment, Killua pulls Gon against him and kisses him furiously. Gon moans and instantly returns the kiss. The kiss tasted of strong alcohol and Gon almost winced at the strength of it. Their tongues danced and swirled around one another and they held each other close. they had completely forgotten their surroundings. Killua pulls Gon closer and presses his hardness against Gon's thigh.

Gon gasps and says,''We are in the middle of the dance floor!''

''So?''

Gon rolled his eyes and ignored the catcalls they were receiving as he guided Killua to Kurapika's dressing room. Poor Cassandra looked scarred for life. Killua and Gon fell back on Kurapika's couch in a mess of limbs. They kissed until Gon pushed his friend away and exclaimed,''WHat exactly are we doing?''

''I...I wanna be with you...'' Killua mumbles looking drunk off of his ass,''I don't want anyone else but you...give me a chance...please?''

Gon puffed out his cheeks,''I should have known...'' He chuckles and hugs his friend tight.

''Guess we're the next to have a wedding hm?'' Killua mumbled into his neck.

''Yeah sure buddy...'' Gon said pretending to not be melting.

''I thought you were straight...''

Gon sighs,''I've always liked you...we should talk about this when you are sober...''

''Great idea.'' Killua mumbled before passing out.

Gon sighed and tried to process everything that happened. He barely had time to process anything before the door slammed open. Hisoka was there with a camera,''Kodak moment!''

He took a picture of Killua drunkenly laying on Gon's lap. Gon fumed and chased the weird clown man aroudn the dance hall leaving Killua on the floor,''Come back here Hisoka!''

Kurapika watched the shenanigans,''I don't know what the hell is going on but I have a feeling that something big just took place...''

Leorio cheered,''Yep! Gon and Killua are going to have cute little babies!''

Killua glared at him,''M preg is not real...''

''What's M preg?'' Leorio asked confused.

Kurapika facepalmed and accepted his fate of being surrounded by idiots.


End file.
